Your personality type has a lot to do with the way you parent. Are you a mediator? I’ll bet that comes in handy when your kids launch into yet another round of verbal combat. Are you a protector? It’s not always easy to set your child free for the first time at the shopping mall.
Identifying your personality type, and your spouse’s, can actually help you fine tune your relationships. “There seem to be nine major ways that people develop major world views that they use to get through life,” explained Portland personality specialist Dale Rhodes.
The Enneagram is a model for determining your type. There’s the observer, loyal skeptic, adventurer, protector, mediator, perfectionist, giver, performer and romantic.
“Parents make choices that this will be the way I want my child to survive but the child may be programmed naturally to use a different value,” explained Rhodes. After reading descriptions of the different types, mother of two Astin Mills determined she has the personality of a mediator. “I’m always trying to find the happy middle ground when dealing with the kids. It definitely makes me the one that rolls over when adversity hits,” she said.
Finding out your personality and that of your child might provide a map for raising them. “You’ll see what values come naturally to your child and what ideas your child will need more help with,” said Rhodes.
Conflict can result when you and your spouse have opposing types. For example, if one parent is a cautious skeptic and the other is an adventurer you'll have a completely different attitude when you take the kids to an amusement park. “If we don’t know this language of love for our kids and the ways they naturally express goodness we can miss it. That’s why the Enneagram is important,” concluded Rhodes.
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